Praise the Lord, and Pass the Xanax

We moved to a new state almost two years ago, and I chose a church for me to attend with my Hoodlums.  It's the same kind of church I grew up in, and to my surprise, it's not much different in the number of members.  It's just that I'm not related to 20 of the 40 or so people who attend here.  The first visit I made was alone to scope it out and see if I would be comfortable there and it turned out that I was.  The only downside....I saw ONE kid.  And he was a freak!  By that, I mean that he was either 4 or 5 but he sat perfectly still through the entire service until he was tired at which time he quietly laid down between his parents and went to sleep.  Seriously.  At the time Biscuit was 4 and Sausage was 2 and they never would have sat that nicely even with a whole bag of crayons and coloring books.  I would have been dragging them and all their junk out the door halfway through the service.

Now, since their were no kids, I looked around and everybody in the entire congregation was 70+, easy.  I'm not exaggerating.  After church, several people introduced themselves and one lady told me about the nursery...yay!  So, I went and met the girl who stays in the nursery and she had 2 kids!  Score.  We've gone there ever since.  I grew up going to church with my Papaw and I missed it terribly after I got married and moved away to the border.  Then we had Biscuit, and I didn't trust anybody that I didn't know to watch her, so I just didn't go.

Since we've found a church here, we go pretty regularly but I normally end up staying in the nursery to help watch the kids talk to my friend, Lucy.  Now, Lucy's kids are 7 and almost 5, a boy and girl, so they match up pretty well with Biscuit and Sausage. While the older kids go to Sunday school during the first hour, the nursery is calm.  I mean, it's just me, Lucy, Sausage, and Butters most of the time.  When Sunday School is over, however, all hell breaks loose it gets a little noisy.  Now, we are separated from the sanctuary, so the noise won't disturb anyone, but it cranks my anxiety all the way up, and I always leave church on edge and sooo ready for nap time.

Last week I had to make a trip to WalMart after church and I swear I almost had an anxiety attack.  My chest started to tighten and it was getting hard to breathe.  It was awesome.  The most awful thing I can imagine is me being carted off my some EMT's while my Hoodlums watch in horror.  And the Rabid Sports Fan would freak out when he got that call, especially since we don't know enough people here to drop the kids off with.

My point is, it's time to get ready for church now, and I'm pretty much dreading it.  So, I say, "Praise the Lord, and Pass the Xanax!"  And wish me luck!